Proven Solutions for Constant Fights in Your Relationship
- Larry Jackson
- Mar 25
- 4 min read
Updated: 7 days ago
Are you looking for solutions to the same old constant fights in your relationship? Maybe you and your partner are always butting heads over communication problems, feeling like your emotional needs aren’t being met, or struggling with trust issues. And if every conversation ends in either a heated shouting match or just total silence, you’re not alone.
I’ve helped a lot of couples who face these tough spots—but the good news is, they don’t last forever if you apply the tips I am about to share. In this post, we’ll dive into real-world conflict resolution strategies for couples that can help you rebuild a stronger, healthier relationship.
Understanding Relationship Conflicts: Three Sides to Every Argument
While helping couples across Wisconsin, Iowa, and Chicago navigate and establish healthy conflict resolution in their relationships that once felt impossible to overcome. Here's what I have observed: most "unsolvable" relationship conflicts aren't about being right or wrong. they’re about feeling heard, understood, and valued.
Every argument has three perspectives that shape the conflict:
Your truth: Your feelings, experiences, and your take on things.
Their truth: Your partner’s emotions, thoughts, and their side of the story.
The truth: A balanced perspective that considers both of you.
Picture this: You feel frustrated because your partner works late every night. You’re missing time together. Meanwhile, they’re feeling the pressure to provide financially. The key here is to see that both perspectives are valid.
Rather than getting stuck in a back-and-forth, understanding each other’s position can build emotional intimacy instead of bitterness.
In relationships, it’s not about who’s right or wrong—it’s about respecting and valuing each other’s truths.
Why Some Relationship Conflicts Feel Impossible to Solve
If you've been caught in the same constant fights over and over, you’re not alone. A lot of couples that I know in Iowa, get stuck because they focus more on logic than on emotions. Sure, facts matter, but relationships are driven by feelings, emotional needs, and communication styles—things you can’t just write down on a spreadsheet.
Even if emotions seem irrational at first, they are real and should be acknowledged.
Ignoring your partner’s feelings and focusing on facts can make them feel like they’re not being heard—which is exactly what makes arguments drag on.
Here’s a common mistake:
Instead of saying: “That’s not true, you’re overreacting.”
Try this: “I get why you feel that way. Let’s talk about what’s really bothering you.”
Validation doesn’t mean you agree—it just means you're recognizing that your partner’s emotions matter. This goes a long way in resolving conflicts—especially if you're both rooted in the Midwest or anywhere with small-town values where community and family are everything.
5 Effective Solutions for Constant Fights in Relationships That Actually Work
Acknowledge and Validate Emotions First
Before diving into the solution, check in with how your partner is feeling. It’s a game-changer.
Instead of saying: “That doesn’t make sense, let’s just move on.”
Say: “I hear you. I understand why this matters to you.”
Why it works: This kind of open emotional validation creates a safe space for honest conversations—one that prevents the buildup of frustration and resentment.
Avoid “Confrontational Evidence”
Trying to win a fight with facts? Not the best idea. It only makes things worse, trust me.
Instead of saying: “You’re the one who’s wrong, not me.”
Say: “Let’s slow down and see where we’re both coming from.”
Why it works: generally, people appreciate respectful conversations more than aggressive debates. No one likes feeling cornered, especially when trying to work through a difficult issue.
Focus on Solutions, Not Blame
Blaming your partner only puts up walls. Instead, focus on what you both can do together to move forward.
Healthy: “Let’s figure this out together.”
Unhealthy: “You always do this. It’s your fault.”
Why it works: It’s all about teamwork and getting through tough moments together. If you focus on working as a team, the connection grows stronger, and the blame fades.
Find a Win-Win Compromise
It’s not about “winning” or “losing” in relationships; it’s about finding ways to meet each other’s needs.
Ask: "What small changes can we both make to improve this?"
Even something simple, like setting boundaries or scheduling quality time, can turn the situation around.
Why it works: Whether you’re in the quiet town of Madison or the busy streets of Chicago, compromise strengthens the bond between you. Small efforts go a long way.
Seek Help When Needed
Some conflicts just require a little outside help. It’s okay to ask for it.
If you’re dealing with trust issues, constant arguments, or emotional disconnection, couples counseling can break unhealthy patterns and help rebuild communication.
Why it works: couples therapy can offer clarity and direction when things feel hopeless.
When Compromise Feels Impossible: What’s Next?
If it feels like an issue is truly unsolvable, ask yourself:
Are we communicating or just reacting?
Are we both willing to make small changes?
Are we open to getting help, like therapy or counseling?
Even if you can’t fully resolve a conflict, you can manage it better and strengthen your relationship.
Final Thoughts: No Relationship Conflict Is Truly Unsolvable
Strong relationships aren’t about having no conflicts—they’re about being resilient in the face of them.
By focusing on emotional validation, open communication, and mutual respect, couples from Chicago to Iowa and Wisconsin can turn disagreements into growth opportunities.
Struggling with recurring relationship conflicts?
Relationship counseling can help you rebuild trust, improve communication, and reconnect.
Need support? Book a free consultation with LARRAPY Counseling today
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